Thursday, November 5, 2009

Heartbreak

Our precious Butterball left us last night. I can't believe he's gone, or how fast everything went wrong. It hurts so much. I keep thinking I'm out of tears, but then I manage to find more.

I took Butterball in to the vet early yesterday morning because he still wasn't eating. He stayed there all day. They tried to give him fluids and to get him to eat. When I called at 3:45, they thought he'd be okay coming home for the night. By the time I picked him up at 5 (they wanted to keep him until then), the vet told me to take him to the emergency pet clinic for the night.

I held our sweet baby in my lap and tried to drive to the clinic. I lost it and pulled over in a church parking lot. My dad came and got us and drove us to the clinic, where Mr. Jones met us. Butterball was close to unresponsive at this point, just laying in my arms, making occasional cooing noises. I nuzzled him close. I had no idea how bad things would get so fast.

The clinic opened at 5:30 with us waiting there. The guy who worked there was wonderful, and they ran blood work and a parvo test. Despite the parvo test coming back negative for the third time in as many days, it looks like that is what sweet Butterball had. He had a viral infection and had a really low white blood cell count. His kidneys weren't doing well at all by that point.

We said goodbye for the night, to let them work on him. Sticking my finger through that cage to pet his tiny head broke my heart. By the time we got to my car, the clinic called, telling us Butterball was doing agonal breathing, which meant he was trying to pass away. We flew back over to the clinic, and got to spend his last few minutes with him.

Those were some of the hardest minutes of my life. Mr. Jones and I just stood there and cried with Butterball between us after he'd gone. His little body was so light and it just broke my heart.

I don't understand why this dream come true only got to last five days. I know Butterball was just a puppy, and not a person, but to us he was two years of dreaming and planning come true.

My heart is simply broken. Mr. Jones is so upset too. It's been a long sleepless night, and it's going to be an even longer day.

I'd give anything to hold that sweet furball in my arms again. He deserved more time at home with us. We needed more time with him.

XOXO,
Mrs. Jones

14 comments:

  1. I am so so sorry. Prayers for all of you..

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  2. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I lost my poor little Callie to parvo after 1 week. My prayers are with the 2 of you.

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  3. oh no! sending you lots of hugs. I know you're so upset! at least he got a couple days being loved and snuggled before he passed away though.

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  4. Bless your heart! I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and DH today! XOXOXO

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  5. I wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you every day since Butterball was sick. I know first hand how hard it is to lose a puppy. It's much harder than a dog who's had a long full life. I know the God gave him to you to love and cherish during his short time here. I know you must be devestated that this would happen and my heart goes out to you and your husband. My heart hurts that you got to experience such joy only to be followed by such pain. Sending love and hugs your way.

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  6. I am so sorry that sweet Butterball was led to cross over Rainbow Bridge. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet because I have been there too. The 2nd anniversary of my beloved Tiny's death just passed and the hurt is still there. I know just how your heart is hurting and I wish I could make that hurt go away. I tend to put my whole heart into my babies and it sounds like you and Mr. Jones are that way too. Please know that I am thinking of you and Mr. Jones at this difficult time.

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  7. I am so, so sorry. I know that Butterball was your baby - no matter how short his life was. You were just the love, snuggling and comfort that he needed.

    My heart goes out to you; I know that grief and wish I could shield you from it.

    Sending you love and hugs.

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  8. Oh no. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart just breaks for you, but it should be good to know that he got to spend his last five days in a WONDERFUL and LOVING home.

    We're thinking of you.

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  9. that is just the most saddest thing. i know how a puppy can steal your heart and to be so full one second and so empty the next is devestating. i will be praying for yall. i know butterball enjoyed his few days with his mom and dad and i am glad you got such wonderful pictures of the little man to remember him by. loves.

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  10. I'm so sorry for your loss. Our beloved little ones always mean the world to us and their loss is truly heartbreaking. You and Mr. Jones are in my thoughts.

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  11. Im so sorry for your loss...
    XoxoGapGirl

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  12. Thank you for all the sweet comments. It's been a crappy and rough few days. We will get through it though. It's getting easier to remember all the fun we had in those short five days.I'll be back soon,
    Mrs. Jones

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  13. oh my goodness, i'm so sorry. i have tears in my eyes. :(

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